To Your Success

When I think about someone investing in themselves, the first thing that comes to my mind is my dad. For 25+ years, my dad worked as a Sales Engineer selling machine tooling parts. Like clockwork, he would awake around 5 am and work until 7 or 8 pm seven days a week. Not only was he a dedicated family man, but also a provider. After many years of dedication and continuous hard work, he and my mom are currently living their best lives in retirement!

According to Merriam-Webster, there are three definitions of invest.

1) to commit (money) to earn a financial return
2) to make use of for future benefits or advantages
3) to involve or engage, especially emotionally

This article will focus on combining the second and third meanings of invest: to make use of for future benefits while being emotionally engaged. To chose to invest in not only yourself but also your future, automatically means you will be challenged and stretched. However, you will learn and grow in ways you never thought possible. Change is a messy and uncomfortable process. Remember, when we change, we are changing for a specific reason. An investment in yourself is never about who you are right now. It is about your future self. A version of yourself that makes your dream life a reality. Within the definition of invest comes a simple model of change: Be + Do = Have. When you break this equation down, it states: who or what do you need to be to do the things you choose to do to have the success you want?

The “Be” portion of the equation means our identity, who are we today. Our identity consists of 4 things: Mental state, Brain state, Body state, and Spirit state. Our mental state influences everything-feelings, learnings, and thought processes. The brain state is the emotional and erratic parts of ourselves. Your Body state is your vessel. Finally, your Spirit state is your belief system. How we fuel each state is crucial. Over time, these habits, mindsets, belief systems, and thought processes become hard-coded in us. To the point where we don’t even think twice about doing them, it just happens.

Then, one day we realize, these habits, mindsets, belief systems, and thought processes no longer serve us. We need to change. Now what?

Any personal investment almost always has a motivational factor behind it. For example, let’s say someone wants to better themselves by changing careers to make more money. A close friend might curiously ask, “What brought about this change?” The individual could respond, “Well, I’ve got three kiddos that I plan on sending to college. I need to ensure my spouse and I have enough money saved to send all three. Plus, my annual increases are merely lump-sum bonuses. I want to contribute and financially support my family.”

If you re-read the above paragraph, what is driving this person’s motivation?
1) Create a better life for this person’s children.
2) Be able to afford and send three kids to college simultaneously
3) Make more money to provide a lifestyle of abundance for family

We all strive for something, whether it’s another income stream, a bigger apartment, losing 45 pounds, or saving money for a dream car. Ask yourself what it would mean to you if you had everything you are hoping for in just 72 hours.

Sometimes though, when one makes a tough decision on investing in themselves, anxiety, fear, and doubt stir up. Thoughts might tell you, “You can’t go back to school, you’re too old. You can’t shift careers during a pandemic, you have no experience. I’ve been single for far too long. I don’t look like what I used to 15 years ago. I’ll never find a partner.” Know that this is normal. During the early days of a change or transformation, resistance or roadblocks will make an appearance. In my opinion, this is a test to prove your commitment level. Another way to think of it is as one of the cars where you have to keep moving the wheels backward for the car to gain any momentum. After so many times of the same motion, the wheels are ready to be let go. Once released, the car zooms off in the opposite direction.

Then the war between your hopes, dreams, and desires and anxiety and fear begins. Perhaps you share your aspirations with those who are close with you. You expected everyone to be happy for you. However, to your surprise, you left the conversation defeated and no longer enthusiastic about your passion.

When it comes to investing in yourself, the most important piece of advice is to never seek guidance from someone who has given up on their dreams. Yes, that might include your family, friends, and even coworkers. No disrespect to those people, but all they know how to do is complain and quit. Those people retract when life gets hard and want you to stay at the same level as them.

Here’s a dirty secret, everything in life is hard.

Losing weight is hard, changing careers is hard, having difficult conversations is hard, saving money for a house is hard, raising children is hard, starting a business is hard, asking your boss for the raise you deserve is hard, learning a new sport is hard.

Now, to segway into the next part of the Be + Do = Have model of change: Do. What are you doing every day to ensure the success you want?

I’ll give you a great example. When I was a young girl, I was heavily involved in fastpitch softball. Early on, my dad knew that I was not going to be a starting first baseman, so he said, “Elizabeth, have you thought about playing the outfield?” I told him, no, and that is a great idea. I am lefty and quick. For about six years, my dad, sister, and I would practice at a local field. I’d stand in Right Field as my dad hit softballs as hard as he could to me. At first, I fought to go. Because like most teenagers, I wanted to watch TV and lounge in my free time. Some days it was hot, sometimes I barely caught anything, and other times I doubted I was even getting better. Guess what? Despite conflicting emotions and feelings, I kept showing up. Slowly but surely, I began to enjoy the time spent with my dad and sister! Even better, I noticed my skills dramatically increased. I was making catches my dad and sister thought I could never make. Before I knew it, my outfield skills were in demand. I am so thankful for those afternoon and evening practices with my dad and sister.

An investment in yourself coupled with having the success you want means you are emotionally vested. It is lonely at the top. Many want it. Yet don’t necessarily know how much it takes to get there. Most play it safe. The risk-takers that go above and beyond to do things no one else would not normally do will reap the fruit of the labor of their hands. Additionally, there are costs associated with a personal, financial, or professional investment. When you receive something for free, you value it, yes, but what happens next? Nothing. There is no emotional investment. When you pay an uncomfortable yet still affordable amount of money for something, what happens? You don’t cancel the committee meetings, but you show up twenty minutes early. You tell your friends that you can’t go out with them because you have to study for your board’s exam. You stay after practice with your coach to work on hitting outside pitches. You get up at 5 am to go to the gym and meet up with your trainer to keep your weight loss goals on track.

Another aspect to consider within the “Do” equation is to examine your inner circle. My favorite college professor told our Principles of Management class, “Your network is your net worth.” There are two types of networks: fixed and growth. Similar to fixed expenses, fixed networks rarely change and remain stagnant. Growth networks continuously expand. Those who capitalize on creating growth networks, see many benefits such as having a referral system to bypass the Applicant Tracking System within the recruiting processes, meeting new friends, experiencing new cultures, traveling opportunities, and much more. The possibilities of having a growth network are endless.

Gauging your personal and professional success is easy; think about the five people you spend most of your time with. Then self reflect on some of these questions:
1) What are everyone’s personal and professional goals and aspirations?
2) How is your network helping you grow and develop, both personally and professionally?
3) What are their personal and professional relationships like, stable or chaotic?
4) What actions are they taking to solve their problems?
5) Who has been in my shoes before, and how can they serve as a coach or mentor?

Whether you are trying to pivot and create a growth network or take your established network to the next level, there is much power in acting right now. I cannot stress the importance of finding a small but mighty support system. A group of people that celebrate you. People that encourage you to enroll in medical school to become a doctor at the age of 40. Friends that want you to try out for American Idol at the age of 65 and even offer to drive you.
Everything you don’t have is a direct result of what you are not taking action on. If you want something, you are solely responsible for the outcomes.

What daily actions are you taking to create the desired results?

I remember coming across a quote from Peter Marshall stating, “When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong under contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” When times get tough, reconnect with your motivational factors. Focus on good feeling thoughts. Visualize yourself sending your kids to college debt-free, embracing morning traffic while on your way to work because you have a satisfying and purposeful career, waking up to the most attractive person you have ever laid your eyes on. Even better, buying and decorating that dream home.

What will it cost you if you don’t act now?

Our two greatest moments are the day we are born and the day we die. We are responsible for spending the in-between time living, expressing gratitude for every single day we get.

Time waits for no man.

Bold change begins now.